Kutsuttu paasykokeeseen
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Schubert - Der Konig in Thule
Topic: School
Tanaan tuli kutsu paasykokeeseen. Pirkanmaan ammattikorkeakoulu (Tampereella), bioanalytiikan koulutusohjelma. Kokeeseen ei voi valmistautua. Se on 8:30 aamulla, joten taytyy menna jo edellisena paivana ja olla yota hotellissa. 144 hakijaa, varmaan on ollut enemmankin mutta kokeeseen otetaan vain rajoitettu era.

Muut vaihtoehdot on Savonia AMK (Kuopiossa), sinne kaytetaan samoja paasykoetuloksia, ja Helsingin AMK jossa on oma koe kesakuun alussa, jos nyt tulen kutsutuksi. Yksinkertaisempaa olisi jos ei tarttis menna kuin yhteen kokeeseen mutta ei sita ikina tieda minne paasee, jos minnekaan, joten parempi etta on useampi vaihtoehto. Ja Hesassa ehtisi saada esimakua mita odottaa Tampereen kokeesta, vaikkakin lahtokohdat on erilaiset. Hesassa on paasykoekirja. Luin sen huhtikuussa mutta pitaisi lainata uudestaan.

Neljas hakutoive on taysin eri, ohjelmistosuunnittelu Kymenlaakson AMKssa. Tutumpi homma mutta kovasti arveluttaa veisiko taysin tietokoneen kayttoon perustuva tyon huvin nortteilysta vapaa-aikana.

Cleaning up, vacation starting
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Alice Cooper - School's Out
Topic: School
I'm home now, things still waiting to be unpacked and I'm tired as hell. Probably because I tried sleeping on the computer class floor last night and woke up after less than two hours, then surfed the Web a bit and finally went to bed about 7 am. Up at 8:30, managed to have breakfast (first time for a week). Lots of packing, did about half of it yesterday.

I also cleaned the bathroom floor drain once again (third time). As always it almost made me vomit. Must be the most disgusting task in the world but at least you know you're making a big favour. The laziness of people in our section of the dorm might be portrayed well through the fact that there was a pile of 82 toilet paper shells in the toilet.

My brother and mom came after 11 am, she washed the window for me, we finished packing the rest of the stuff and I vacuum cleaned the floor.

I found half a kilo of strawberry ice cream in the freezer, you know how it gets all leathery on the surface when it melts a bit and is refrozen? Yuck. Anyway, we had to eat it away. Having ice cream usually isn't something you'd see as a hard task. And it could've been worse.

A game idea with evil angels
Now Playing: Bumble A, Bumble B, Bumble C, Bumble D
A moment ago I started thinking how to separate stup... um average kids that write all lowercase and badly and never read the rules from the nice players if I could make the rules. And I'm not trying to change Cantr, I'm still dreaming about making my own game some day. Got a friend that promised to do the programming but I'm too damn lazy to get anything ready. Anyway the idea is that the newbie race is going to be strong and good-looking and with wings and immortality. You must be born to a lesser race to get to play with the serious people, but you must start being a baby, with stubs of wings in your back so that everyone knows you're one of them. These half-"angels" are luckily sterile so they cannot reproduce. They can live longer than humans but are commonly hated because the "angels" are violent and childish beings who rape human women (how else did you think the half-breeds came to life). Now these people that raise the half-breeds are veteran players that are given a chance to vote when the newbie is ready to be reborn as a human. There can also be clerics that are in fact moderators that can paralyze possessed people (troublemakers, somebody hacking someone else's account and messing around with it). Then I draw a picture about first an angel (it has sort of feathers instead of hair), then a couple of humans with a half-breed child. And how about that, right after I'd scanned it and uploaded it, Cantr was up. So I'm positive it was only waiting for me to come up with this idea. Ok it's nothing original but works. And I think it's kinda funny that creatures that look like angels are in fact very childish and annoying. And by the way they talk in all lowercase because their vocal cords are underdevelopped, exept when they yell then it's all caps lock. :)

Oh yeah and this morning I accidentally cut my finger with a table knife. Ouch. Those things are surprisingly sharp. Note to self, don't cut a bun on your hand.

Messed up
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Steriogram: Walkie Talkie Man
Nowadays it's more common for me to go to bed long after midnight. Or then in the morning... or afternoon. I'm keeping a list of my sleeping and computer times, and what and when I eat. I slept over 15 hours last time and I'm still feeling sleepy. I could go to bed and grasp the normal timezone again but probably I don't.

Luckily in school there is a period when nothing special is happening. Ceramics starts only next week. Lets see how I'll survive then. Now I spend most of my time on the computer or sleeping. This week I went to school only twice, and I didn't do much there.

I feel like writing in English now
Mood:  hug me
Man I think my serotonine levels are really screwed up now... I've been moody for a while. Plus I forgot to take my meds this morning since I overslept again. I was going to wake up at 7 am because I figured that's when Cantr resets on this time zone but then I fell asleep again so I'm not sure if I calculated correctly. Anyway, I slept till 9:50 or something and was late from the class, but the teacher is nice, she just joked about my sleepiness... I was quite happy for the day, a little wild even - We went to an art museum and there was this installation of a room with a mirror.. but you cannot see yourself in the mirror. Because it's actually a window to another room constructed similar as the one you're in. So when I was alone in that room I climbed through the window and went to check what's behind the corner in the other side. (There was a hidden lamp so that it looks like there's light coming from an exit similar to the one in the public room.) You're not supposed to do that kinda stuff in an art exhibition! But anyway, it was damn funny, I kept chuckling for a long time after that, so that one classmate stopped to ask me what's so funny.

But then in the evening I met my support person probably for the last time, I'm getting another one because this old one lives too far away from my school. So they where both there, the old one and the new one. At first it went well but suddenly this anxiety starts building up inside me. We went to a gas station cafeteria to grab some snack, at that time I was literally frozen and the old support person was like is there something wrong with me... I just pointed what soda and pastry I want, then we went to the table. I read this gossip magazine there, seeing all the depressing stuff about celebrities and their oppressing husbands.. I just couldn't eat anymore. Getting tears in my eyes. Is there something wrong she asks? I just explain how I feel bad, I try not to cry but I can't help it, I don't want to throw away the pastry so they put it in a paper bag for me. I finished my soda and was almost alright again, though feeling down. We went back to my school, every once in a while I feel the sadness rising up, but I don't think I cried any more then. My old support person's husband came to pick her up (we were using the new lady's car) and he took a couple of pictures of us, I was smiling. But then when it was time to say goodbye I had to turn my back to her and really force the words come out. Later I send her sms telling I really wished I had a mother like her. -- This really much reminds me of the behaviour of one of my Cantr charries lately... So who's affecting who?

Back to School
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Milk and Cereal
Topic: School
En muistanut sanoa etta sain hyvaksynnan Joutsenoon. Lahdetaan ajamaan sinne kahden tunnin kuluttua. Sita ennen aion roikkua tietokoneella niin paljon kuin vain kerkean, koska en tieda paasenko siella koneella. Jos en niin kylla vituttaa... Onkohan siella edes telkkaria?
Vanhemmat ovat huolehtineet ja hossottaneet tolkuttomasti pari viimeista paivaa... Pakkasin suurimman osan tavaroista toissapaivana, ettei siita tarvisi huomautella. Asiat pyorivat mielessa niin kovasti etta nain jopa unta jossa listasin mita olen pakannut ja mita viela puuttuu! Mista puheen ollen taytyisi viela muutama tavara tunkea kassiin.. Minulla on kaksi laukkua ja reppu... Onneksi vanhemmat tulevat kantoavuksi.

Vaihtoehdot vahenee
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: O-Zone: Dragostea din tei
Jamilahdesta tuli kirje etta valitettavasti linjaa ei voida aloittaa, koska hakijoita oli vain kuusi. Arvasin kylla etta niin voisi kayda mutta kuitenkin vituttaa. Tuntuu silta kuin kohtalo paattaisi asioista puolestani. Olen hakenut myos Joutsenoon kuvataidelinjalla, mutta jos sieltakin tulee hylkays niin olen kusessa. Luultavasti joudun menemaan paivakotiin toihin.

=P
Mood:  don't ask
En paassyt kaantajaopistoon. En ma oikeastaan edes halunnut sinne. Happamia sanoi kettu pihlajanmarjoista. Nyt taytyy hakea kansanopistoon.
Eilen minulle nousi kova kuume, parhaimmillaan 38,88C ja lihaksiin sattui. Nyt on taas ihan okei olo. Outo tauti. Toissapaivana oli vahan kurkkukipua.

Filosofiaa
Mood:  incredulous
Eilen illalla tuntui taas etta mikaan ei tunnu miltaan. Keskustelu ja ajatukset eksyivat teologisiin. Ihan totta Jumalan taytyy olla tosi onneton olento kun on tuomittu elamaan ikuisesti. Han yrittaa kaikkensa saadakseen seuraa ja rakkautta, mutta on silti ylempi. Jeesuksen kautta yritti saavuttaa tasa-arvon, mutta sittenkin oli erilainen.

Suullinen paasykoe
Mood:  not sure
Tanaan oli kokeet ja annoin itsestani aivan naurettavan kuvan. Tuntui silta kuin olisi ollut Idols-tuomariston edessa, paitsi etta naita oli vain kaksi eivatka nauraneet niin lujaa. Tietysti en tieda todellisuudesta mitaan ja olen jalat irti maasta. Ehka saalista saan opiskelupaikan, kun sanoin etten ole muualle hakenut. Ainakaan en helvetissa jaa kotiin viela vuodeksi! Se olisi katastrofi. Kaiken lisaksi kun minun piti selittaa minka kirjan olen viimeksi lukenut, sanoin vahingossa vaaran kirjailijan nimen! Onneksi nimi ei kuulostanut haastattelijoista tutulta, ja tuskin kukaan huomaa mokaani, mutta se oli silti noloa. Harmi ettei haastattelu ollut pitempi, olisi ehtinyt lammeta ja jannitys vahentya. Nyt sekoilin sanoissani jos ylipaataan tiesin mita sanoa, enka aina tajunnut mita kysyttiin.